This is funny and good and worth reading, and I find a lot of those techniques useful in my own life \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
\nI\u2019ve read many narratives about white people just touching black hair and I read them with my mouth open. Not because of the racism, even. Just because as a polite person the idea of just reaching out and touching anyone\u2019s hair makes my eye twitch. When <\/span>would<\/i> <\/span>it be appropriate? If there was a very large poisonous spider in their hair. If I was doing a magic trick. Or after six or more years of marriage.<\/p>\n
There are exceptions. I pat the heads of toddlers I\u2019ve known for more than six months. If tiny children volunteer to sit on my lap or ask to ride around on my back while I make horse noises, I make eye contact with their parents first and then comply. Afterwards I might skritch their toddler heads a little. I am not opposed to tousling in certain defined and appropriate circumstances.<\/p>\n
But a whole class of problems goes away from my life because I see people as having around them a two or three foot invisible buffer. If there is a stray hair on their jacket I ask them if I can pluck it from them. If they don\u2019t want that, they\u2019ll do it themselves. If their name is now Susan, <\/span>it\u2019s Susan<\/a>. Whatever happens inside that buffer is entirely up to them. It has nothing to do with me.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n