{"id":5263,"date":"2023-04-19T23:25:36","date_gmt":"2023-04-19T23:25:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/?p=5263"},"modified":"2023-04-19T23:25:36","modified_gmt":"2023-04-19T23:25:36","slug":"the-internet-is-already-over","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/2023\/04\/19\/the-internet-is-already-over\/","title":{"rendered":"The internet is already over"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I don’t buy the argument — well, there’s not really an argument there at all — but wow<\/em> is that some spectacularly gymnastic prose.<\/p>\n

You know, secretly, even if you\u2019re pretending not to, that this thing is nearing exhaustion. There is simply nothing there<\/strong> online. All language has become rote, a halfarsed performance: even the outraged mobs are screaming on autopilot. Even genuine crises can\u2019t interrupt the tedium of it all, the bad jokes and predictable thinkpieces, spat-out enzymes to digest the world. \u2018Leopards break into the temple and drink all the sacrificial vessels dry; it keeps happening; in the end, it can be calculated in advance and is incorporated into the ritual.\u2019 Online is not where people meaningfully express themselves<\/em><\/strong>; that still happens in the remaining scraps of the nonnetworked world. It\u2019s a parcel of time you give over to the machine. Make the motions, chant its dusty liturgy. The newest apps even literalise this<\/a>: everyone has to post a selfie at exactly the same time, an inaudible call to prayer ringing out across the world. Recently, at a bar, I saw the room go bright as half the patrons suddenly started posing with their negronis. This is called being real<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Whoever you are, a role is already waiting for you. All those pouty nineteen-year-old lowercase nymphets, so fluent in their borrowed boredom, flatly reciting don\u2019t just choke me i want someone to cut off my entire head<\/em><\/strong>. All those wide-eyed video creeps, their inhuman enthusiasm, hi guys! hi guys!! so today we\u2019re going to talk about\u2014don\u2019t forget to like and subscribe!! hi guys!!!<\/em><\/strong> Even on the deranged fringes, a dead grammar has set in. The people who fake Tourette\u2019s for TikTok and the people who fake schizophrenia for no reason at all. VOICES HAVE REVEALED TO ME THAT YOUR MAILMAN IS A DEMONIC ARCHON SPAT FROM BABYLON\u2019S SPINNING PIGMOUTH, GOD WANTS YOU TO KILL HIM WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER<\/em>.<\/strong> Without even passing out of date, every mode of internet-speak already sounds antiquated. Aren\u2019t you embarrassed? Can\u2019t you hear, under the chatter of these empty forms, a long low ancient whine, the last mewl of that cat who wants to haz cheezburger?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The internet is already over<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t buy the argument — well, there’s not really an argument there at all — but wow is that some spectacularly gymnastic prose. You know, secretly, even if you\u2019re pretending not to, that this thing is nearing exhaustion. There is simply nothing there online. All language has become rote, a halfarsed performance: even the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3pfIY-1mT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5263"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5265,"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5263\/revisions\/5265"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novonon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}